Facebook allows natural parents to track down adopted children, charities warn

The popularity of social networking websites has seen an increase in breaches of guidelines against unplanned contact with hundreds of adopted children unexpectedly hearing from their natural families.

Read the report here

Note:

Social media is here to stay so maybe the real lesson to be learned from this story is the need to  inform children, at the earliest opportunity, that they are adopted so that the experience becomes a ‘norm’ and a common and  natural feature of many families, which it is, that is both acceptable and accepted.

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One response to “Facebook allows natural parents to track down adopted children, charities warn

  1. I think we are going to have to accept that the old “Cannot make contact or see each other till 18” model of adoption and child protective services cannot survive the internet age. As the result, we are going to have to involve the child’s opinion in contact decisions, and accept that this may change over time. We also cannot count on the child having to apply for an original birth certificate to contact, and we have to accept that some children remember their old surname from when they were little. Also, if the birth parent knows a known childhood friend of the child, and that child has their friends list public, they could get the new name of their child from regonizing a photo in the friends list.

    I think the way to deal with this, is to tell adopted children the truth and accept the fact that there will be 17 and under visits and reunions. The child knowing the uncensored truth about what caused the child to be taken away might give them a better idea of who in their birth family to keep in contact with, and which ones to have nothing to do with.

    The reality is that if the birth parent and adopted child are determined to connect or have active contact before the child is 18, it may be better to support them doing it rather than try to prevent it because it is likely they will go on when their adoptive parents are not home, or from a friends house, public computer, cell phone in a public place, or open wi-fi.

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